Our Interview With Wazhma Ayoubi
Courtesy of Wazhma Ayoubi's Instagram Account (@wazhma.ayoubi)
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It was an overnight marvel back in 2022 when we woke up to our phones being flooded with pictures of cricket’s ‘Mystery Girl.’ It was just after the Afghanistan and Bangladesh match for the Asia Cup, and all we could seem to talk about was the mystery girl, and again during the 2023 Cricket World Cup. Now, Wazhma Ayoubi is more open than ever about her love for the sport.
She’s avidly supported her national team and India, calling them her ‘second home team.’ Her love for the sport is evident in her social media, her interviews, and when you speak to her. It’s a passion evident in her voice, the real kind of passion that you can tell by how her eyes light up. However, she’s not just the person we see on our phone screens. Wazhma was born in Kunduz, Afghanistan, to a family of two sisters and two brothers (being the middle child herself) and a loving mother and father. She did her primary and secondary schooling in Kunduz and went to the US for an exchange program. Wazhma attended the American University of Central Asia in Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan, for a year before transferring to the American University of Kabul following the coup and regime change in Kyrgyzstan. Currently, she’s in the middle of obtaining her master’s degree in global management and leadership online from an Italian university, taking a pause to focus on her work and other responsibilities |
She describes her relationship with her siblings as one where they all have each other’s backs even though they live in different parts of the world. They’re present in each other’s lives, too. “Not to be nosy,” she clarified. “But that’s just how close we are.”
She has no qualms about expressing how important the community is to her and how it formed her. “No matter where I am, no matter what I do, I remember my roots, and I want to give back to the people back home–even if I’m not there.”
Her community was tight-knit and had a major impact on her, primarily through her father.
“I had a very, very kind dad,” she said with a sad wistfulness to her tone. “He taught us to be kind and compassionate and to give back to the society that formed us.” Her father was a Khan, but he chose to become a teacher in Kunduz, which Wazhma highlights as a significant part of why education is so important to her.
“He inspired me,” Wazhma said over the crackle of the phone. “I used to love grocery shopping with him. He used to constantly be greeted or talk to people. That was one of my favorite memories; the love, the affection he had for his people and their respect for him.”
Wazhma answered, without hesitation, that the saddest day of her life was the day she lost her father.
Conversely, she described the happiest day of her life as when her son was born. This, in a nutshell, is her attitude towards life and motherhood. Throughout the interview, which took place over multiple calls, she prioritized her son above everything else. With exceeding politeness, she would offer her apologies but make it evident that if her son needed her, she would be there, and the call would be rescheduled.
Wazhma described motherhood as a blessing that came with challenges, particularly since she’s raising her child by herself. It’s had a significant positive impact on her life. “It’s changed how I think and look at the future,” she said. “You know, he doesn’t even sleep in another room anymore.”
Her role model is a dear friend of hers. “It’s because of how she is,” Wazhma explained. “How she carried herself, how she is with her daughter, and how gently, awesomely she raised her.”
As an individual, Wazhma is a loving daughter, sister, and mother, but she is also incredibly witty, brave, and intelligent. With a laugh, she explained her approach to facing her fears, “It has to be extreme, no?” On her bucket list, she’s got skydiving because she wants to face her phobia of heights. While many people might choose an easier way of facing it, such as trying to stand on a balcony of a high-rise tower, she chooses to face it head-on.
Despite social media’s trend of making individuals with a large following seem different and almost alienated, Wazhma is entirely down to earth, unlike what rumors say about her. Like the rest of us, she’s used to her phone.
“Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and pick up my phone, and I’m like, what are you doing? Go to sleep,” she said, laughing as she did so. It’s part of her routine as well. At night, she kisses her son goodnight, does her prayers, checks her phone, then she’s asleep. “It’s a habit.”
“I like Instagram because it’s visual,” she continued on to say. “But I use Twitter (X) to keep up with Afghanistan.”
I asked her if it was important for her to keep up with Afghanistan. She did not hesitate to respond, “One hundred percent.” Afghanistan is a key part of her personality and her background. Throughout the interview, Wazhma was most verbose about her home country.
She calls the day that the country fell to the hands of the Taliban the second saddest day of her life–second only to the loss of her father.
She has no qualms about expressing how important the community is to her and how it formed her. “No matter where I am, no matter what I do, I remember my roots, and I want to give back to the people back home–even if I’m not there.”
Her community was tight-knit and had a major impact on her, primarily through her father.
“I had a very, very kind dad,” she said with a sad wistfulness to her tone. “He taught us to be kind and compassionate and to give back to the society that formed us.” Her father was a Khan, but he chose to become a teacher in Kunduz, which Wazhma highlights as a significant part of why education is so important to her.
“He inspired me,” Wazhma said over the crackle of the phone. “I used to love grocery shopping with him. He used to constantly be greeted or talk to people. That was one of my favorite memories; the love, the affection he had for his people and their respect for him.”
Wazhma answered, without hesitation, that the saddest day of her life was the day she lost her father.
Conversely, she described the happiest day of her life as when her son was born. This, in a nutshell, is her attitude towards life and motherhood. Throughout the interview, which took place over multiple calls, she prioritized her son above everything else. With exceeding politeness, she would offer her apologies but make it evident that if her son needed her, she would be there, and the call would be rescheduled.
Wazhma described motherhood as a blessing that came with challenges, particularly since she’s raising her child by herself. It’s had a significant positive impact on her life. “It’s changed how I think and look at the future,” she said. “You know, he doesn’t even sleep in another room anymore.”
Her role model is a dear friend of hers. “It’s because of how she is,” Wazhma explained. “How she carried herself, how she is with her daughter, and how gently, awesomely she raised her.”
As an individual, Wazhma is a loving daughter, sister, and mother, but she is also incredibly witty, brave, and intelligent. With a laugh, she explained her approach to facing her fears, “It has to be extreme, no?” On her bucket list, she’s got skydiving because she wants to face her phobia of heights. While many people might choose an easier way of facing it, such as trying to stand on a balcony of a high-rise tower, she chooses to face it head-on.
Despite social media’s trend of making individuals with a large following seem different and almost alienated, Wazhma is entirely down to earth, unlike what rumors say about her. Like the rest of us, she’s used to her phone.
“Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and pick up my phone, and I’m like, what are you doing? Go to sleep,” she said, laughing as she did so. It’s part of her routine as well. At night, she kisses her son goodnight, does her prayers, checks her phone, then she’s asleep. “It’s a habit.”
“I like Instagram because it’s visual,” she continued on to say. “But I use Twitter (X) to keep up with Afghanistan.”
I asked her if it was important for her to keep up with Afghanistan. She did not hesitate to respond, “One hundred percent.” Afghanistan is a key part of her personality and her background. Throughout the interview, Wazhma was most verbose about her home country.
She calls the day that the country fell to the hands of the Taliban the second saddest day of her life–second only to the loss of her father.
“You read things in articles that aren’t even true–they haven’t even asked you, but they start writing about you because it’s a hot topic and it sells.”
“When my father died, I lost the biggest support of my life,” Wazhma explained. “But when Afghanistan fell, I thought I’d lost everything.” She couldn’t stop crying, worrying herself sick over family and friends. She was reaching out to people constantly, in and out of Afghanistan, to see how she could help them.
“I still remember the messages I used to get, the videos, how desperate people were,” Wazhma said. “The images coming out of Afghanistan–the people and kids falling out of planes, it was horrible. It’s heartbreaking to see everything in vain in just one day.”
Wazhma described the loss of democracy as deeply personal. She was a product of democracy, having worked with her friends and colleagues, and then she saw it all destroyed.
“We had progressed so beautifully,” she said. “Women were in parliament and had significant positions in many fields. Then it was just gone.” Support was given in the form of her friends outside the country, and she shared her feelings, which helped her through it. Being able to help people and keeping herself busy all contributed to getting through it. Still, when asked if she had fully healed, her answer was very simple; “No.”
“I don’t know,” she continued to say when asked if she thinks she could ever fully heal from it. “I hope so.”
She remains connected to Afghanistan in any way that she can. Her family still lives there, and Wazhma works with women in the country, providing them with work opportunities so they can provide for their families, as most Afghan women are the main breadwinners. Laman Clothing’s embroidery comes from Afghanistan, from those women. Wazhma’s connection is not limited to just her family and business; she has a vested interest in advocating for women’s rights and girls’ education, an ongoing issue in the country.
In a lighter moment, much earlier, she’d been asked what thought tends to occupy her mind randomly; what is her ‘Roman Empire,’ and she said, “What if I was a guy? Imagine how much I could achieve in Afghanistan.” Even then, her mind went to being a woman in Afghanistan. “Being a woman is hard enough for anyone, anywhere in the world, but in Afghanistan, it’s too difficult to be a woman.”
Her love of Afghanistan extends even further into history. Wazhma was asked which five historical figures she would want to have dinner with.
“Amanullah Khan, definitely,” she stated first, mentioning one of Afghanistan’s most famous former rulers. “Gandhi, Bacha Khan, Hitler–I just want to ask him, why? Why did he do all of that?”
“I still remember the messages I used to get, the videos, how desperate people were,” Wazhma said. “The images coming out of Afghanistan–the people and kids falling out of planes, it was horrible. It’s heartbreaking to see everything in vain in just one day.”
Wazhma described the loss of democracy as deeply personal. She was a product of democracy, having worked with her friends and colleagues, and then she saw it all destroyed.
“We had progressed so beautifully,” she said. “Women were in parliament and had significant positions in many fields. Then it was just gone.” Support was given in the form of her friends outside the country, and she shared her feelings, which helped her through it. Being able to help people and keeping herself busy all contributed to getting through it. Still, when asked if she had fully healed, her answer was very simple; “No.”
“I don’t know,” she continued to say when asked if she thinks she could ever fully heal from it. “I hope so.”
She remains connected to Afghanistan in any way that she can. Her family still lives there, and Wazhma works with women in the country, providing them with work opportunities so they can provide for their families, as most Afghan women are the main breadwinners. Laman Clothing’s embroidery comes from Afghanistan, from those women. Wazhma’s connection is not limited to just her family and business; she has a vested interest in advocating for women’s rights and girls’ education, an ongoing issue in the country.
In a lighter moment, much earlier, she’d been asked what thought tends to occupy her mind randomly; what is her ‘Roman Empire,’ and she said, “What if I was a guy? Imagine how much I could achieve in Afghanistan.” Even then, her mind went to being a woman in Afghanistan. “Being a woman is hard enough for anyone, anywhere in the world, but in Afghanistan, it’s too difficult to be a woman.”
Her love of Afghanistan extends even further into history. Wazhma was asked which five historical figures she would want to have dinner with.
“Amanullah Khan, definitely,” she stated first, mentioning one of Afghanistan’s most famous former rulers. “Gandhi, Bacha Khan, Hitler–I just want to ask him, why? Why did he do all of that?”
Finally, she said, “My great-great-grandfather, Shah Mohammad Ali Khan Darwazi.” He’s called the father of diplomacy in Afghanistan, a well-respected individual who was also educated abroad in Samarkand and Bukhara.
“I just want to know how it was for him,” she confessed. “I want to know more about him because that’s one part of life we didn’t know much about when we were kids.”
When the discussion of history, especially Afghan history, became more intense, I asked her what era she would live in if she could.
“The golden era,” she said. “When they used to call Kabul the Paris of Asia. I want to live in that era and grow powerful enough to stop any wars from happening.” Like most people raised in a warzone, she has been impacted by the warzone immensely. It’s impacted every Afghan, no matter where they live or the lifestyles they lead, and Wazhma only hopes that she doesn’t pass on her traumas to her son.
When asked what advice she would give her eighteen-year-old self, she responded, “I’d tell her to buckle up. You’re going far; just stay strong, stay amazing.” She also said that she’s stayed ‘very strong’ throughout her life.
She’s also very spiritual. When Wazhma was asked about her favorite book, she responded with “The Quran,” which took her less than a second to think about.
“It’s a guide if you actually follow it,” she elaborated. “It beautifully explains life.”
As we all know, she’s a huge fan of cricket. She loves the sport, and she loves her national team.
“I’m very reserved,” she said. “People think I’m really mean, I’m not.” She’s more of the quiet, stay-in type and describes herself as an ‘introverted extravert.’ Wazhma, as an individual, is beautifully profound in her thoughts and beliefs but also very private. She was shocked to wake up the next day after the famous match and find her name everywhere.
“You see hundreds of fake accounts on every social platform, people are asking about you, they make assumptions about you,” she described the event. “You read things in articles that aren’t even true–they haven’t even asked you, but they start writing about you because it’s a hot topic and it sells.” After maintaining a private Instagram account for years, she had to make a public one because of all the fake accounts that she saw.
“I just want to know how it was for him,” she confessed. “I want to know more about him because that’s one part of life we didn’t know much about when we were kids.”
When the discussion of history, especially Afghan history, became more intense, I asked her what era she would live in if she could.
“The golden era,” she said. “When they used to call Kabul the Paris of Asia. I want to live in that era and grow powerful enough to stop any wars from happening.” Like most people raised in a warzone, she has been impacted by the warzone immensely. It’s impacted every Afghan, no matter where they live or the lifestyles they lead, and Wazhma only hopes that she doesn’t pass on her traumas to her son.
When asked what advice she would give her eighteen-year-old self, she responded, “I’d tell her to buckle up. You’re going far; just stay strong, stay amazing.” She also said that she’s stayed ‘very strong’ throughout her life.
She’s also very spiritual. When Wazhma was asked about her favorite book, she responded with “The Quran,” which took her less than a second to think about.
“It’s a guide if you actually follow it,” she elaborated. “It beautifully explains life.”
As we all know, she’s a huge fan of cricket. She loves the sport, and she loves her national team.
“I’m very reserved,” she said. “People think I’m really mean, I’m not.” She’s more of the quiet, stay-in type and describes herself as an ‘introverted extravert.’ Wazhma, as an individual, is beautifully profound in her thoughts and beliefs but also very private. She was shocked to wake up the next day after the famous match and find her name everywhere.
“You see hundreds of fake accounts on every social platform, people are asking about you, they make assumptions about you,” she described the event. “You read things in articles that aren’t even true–they haven’t even asked you, but they start writing about you because it’s a hot topic and it sells.” After maintaining a private Instagram account for years, she had to make a public one because of all the fake accounts that she saw.
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Wazhma did not allow the negatives to affect her too much, choosing to see the positives of it as well. “I was already advocating for women’s rights and issues in Afghanistan,” she said. “And my reach got bigger; it gave me a bigger platform.”
Still, it wasn’t easy. People began digging into her personal life, she found out things about herself that weren’t even true, and she had to deal with internet trolls too. “I support the Indian team a lot,” Wazhma explained. “And then the trolling from the other neighboring countries started. People were calling me names, dragging me and dragging my family into the hate.” When asked what she thought of the trolls, Wazhma succinctly stated, “They’re faceless people who don’t use their real names or pictures. They’re miserable, and they’ve got nothing better to do than to attack someone else.” All she did was enjoy a cricket match, she explained. Wazhma was emphatic in expressing that her love for one country should not impact the other. She was dragged into unnecessary conflicts all for going about her own life. “I did,” she said when asked if she cared about the trolling. “But I learned to deal with it and got stronger over time.” Sometimes, mostly in the beginning, she’d look at the comments she’d receive, but even if she didn’t, she’d have people sending her screenshots of them. Over time, she stopped caring. |
Courtesy of Wazhma Ayoubi's Twitter (X) Account (@WazhmaAyoubi)
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“This is our resistance. You try to erase one of us, and there will be hundreds more women in different fields and different areas.”
“I was badly trolled for visiting my home country and posting positive videos,” Wazhma said. “I went to visit my country. I surprised my family. I didn’t even tell my mother because the last time I asked her, she told me not to visit and said she would come to me.” Wazhma had not been back in the country for over a year. “One of the downsides is that people think they can pick at you for anything. They think you’re public property.”
I asked her if that was a dehumanizing experience.
“Of course,” she said resolutely. “We all have feelings, but we must be kinder and more considerate. I felt like people wanted me to be imprisoned or killed, even though I just posted a happy video.” Many individuals in Afghanistan have been imprisoned or killed for being outspoken, especially women. Wazhma knows it could have happened to her, too, at any moment, but it didn’t.
“We cannot ignore our families or the forty million people that live there,” Wazhma expressed. “When we visit, we are not supporting the regime. When you get in a taxi, you indirectly feed a family with the money you pay the driver. Say that a driver goes to get groceries, and your money benefits another person, too. People don’t get that I want to spend my money to help people, our people, in Afghanistan.”
“I love the game of cricket,” Wazhma said. “I love our national team and that they still represent the tri-color flag. My presence at the matches is a form of resistance in itself. You may try to erase us in Afghanistan, but you cannot erase us outside.”
Wazhma was at a cricket match in Sharjah with multiple friends. She also asked the ladies amongst her friends to join, having tickets to the royal area and wanting to see her national team in the stadium. There, she and her friends were told that the seats they had tickets for were reserved when the seats were not reserved. They tried to make them move, to erase the presence of Afghan women at a match their national team was playing.
“They cannot erase us outside of Afghanistan,” Wazhma said at the end of the conversation. “This is our resistance. You try to erase one of us, and there will be hundreds more women in different fields and different areas.”
I asked her if that was a dehumanizing experience.
“Of course,” she said resolutely. “We all have feelings, but we must be kinder and more considerate. I felt like people wanted me to be imprisoned or killed, even though I just posted a happy video.” Many individuals in Afghanistan have been imprisoned or killed for being outspoken, especially women. Wazhma knows it could have happened to her, too, at any moment, but it didn’t.
“We cannot ignore our families or the forty million people that live there,” Wazhma expressed. “When we visit, we are not supporting the regime. When you get in a taxi, you indirectly feed a family with the money you pay the driver. Say that a driver goes to get groceries, and your money benefits another person, too. People don’t get that I want to spend my money to help people, our people, in Afghanistan.”
“I love the game of cricket,” Wazhma said. “I love our national team and that they still represent the tri-color flag. My presence at the matches is a form of resistance in itself. You may try to erase us in Afghanistan, but you cannot erase us outside.”
Wazhma was at a cricket match in Sharjah with multiple friends. She also asked the ladies amongst her friends to join, having tickets to the royal area and wanting to see her national team in the stadium. There, she and her friends were told that the seats they had tickets for were reserved when the seats were not reserved. They tried to make them move, to erase the presence of Afghan women at a match their national team was playing.
“They cannot erase us outside of Afghanistan,” Wazhma said at the end of the conversation. “This is our resistance. You try to erase one of us, and there will be hundreds more women in different fields and different areas.”
By Zahra Fatimie
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Wazhma Ayoubi
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Zahra Fatimie
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